Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

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Pig And Pepper

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For a minute or twoshe stood looking at the house, when + suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood (judging by his face only, + she would have called him a fish)—and rapped loudly at the door with his + knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery,with a round face and large eyes + like a frog.

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The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, and this he + handed over to the other, saying, in a solemn tone, "For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet." The + Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, "From the Queen. An invitation for the + Duchess to play croquet." Then they both bowed low and their curls got entangled + together.

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When Alice next peeped out, the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on + the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky. Alice went timidly up to + the door and knocked.

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"There's no sortof use in knocking," said the Footman, "and that for two reasons. + First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you are; secondly, because they're + making such a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you." And certainly there + was a most extraordinary noise going on within—a constant howling and + sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken + to pieces.

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"How am I to get in?" asked Alice.

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"Are you to get in at all?" said the Footman. "That's the first question, you + know."

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Alice opened the door and went in. The door led right into a large kitchen, which + was full of smoke from one end to the other; the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged + stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a + large caldron which seemed to be full of soup.

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"There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!" Alice said to herself, as well as + she could for sneezing. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and asforthe baby, it + was sneezing and howling alternately without a moment'spause. The only two + creatures in the kitchen that did + not sneeze were the cook and a large cat, which was grinning from ear to + ear.

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"Please would you tell me," said Alice, a little timidly, "why your cat grins like + that?"

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"It's a Cheshire-Cat," said the Duchess,"and that's why."

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"I didn't know that Cheshire-Cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know that cats + could grin," said Alice.

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"You don't know much," said the Duchess, "and that's a fact."

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Just then the cook took the caldron of soupoff the fire, and at once set to work + throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby—the fire-irons + came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, plates and dishes. The Duchess took no + notice of them, even when they hit her, and the baby was howling so much already that + itwas quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.

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"Oh, please mind what you're doing!" cried Alice, jumping up and down in an + agony of terror.

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"Here! You may nurse it a bit, if you like!" the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the + baby at her as she spoke. "I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen," and + she hurried out of the room.

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Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped little creature + and held out its arms and legs in all directions. "If I don't take this child away with + me," thought Alice, "they're sure to kill it in a day or two. Wouldn't it be murder to + leave it behind?" She said the last words out loud and the little thing grunted in + reply.

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"If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear," said Alice, "I'll have nothing more + to do with you. Mind now!"

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Alice was just beginning to think to herself, "Now, what am I to do with this + creature, when I get it home?" when it grunted again so violently that Alice looked + down into its face in some alarm. This time there could be no mistake about + it—it was neither more nor less than a pig; so she set the little creature down + and felt quite relieved to see it trot awayquietly into the wood.

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Alice was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire-Catsitting on a bough of a tree + a few yards off. The Cat only grinned when it saw her. "Cheshire-Puss," began Alice, + rather timidly, "would you please tell me which way I ought to gofrom here?"

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"In that direction," the Cat said, waving the right paw 'round, "lives a + Hatter; and in that direction," waving the other paw, "lives a March Hare. Visit + either you like; they're both mad."

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"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.

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"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat; "we're all mad here. Do you play croquet + with the Queen to-day?"

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"I should like it very much," said Alice, "but I haven't been invited yet."

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"You'll see me there," said the Cat, and vanished.

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Alice had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house of the March + Hare; it was so large a house that she did not like to go near till she had nibbled + some more of the left-hand bit of mushroom.

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